Twelve Strategies for Navigating Sexual Assault Triggers
Soon I’ll attend a retreat for survivors of childhood sexual assault. Although it’s been decades since I was exploited, the hosts asked about my “triggers.” What sights, sounds, smells, tastes, or sensory experiences transport me back to the traumas when I was seven, nine, and twelve? Even though my olfactory skills rival those of a bloodhound, and music has been a central focus of my life, it isn’t smells or sounds that jerk me into flashbacks, it’s what I see people doing.
When I witness a teen or adult displaying an inordinate amount of affection with a child, my hackles rise like a canine with a new litter. Driving past a bar on a Friday after work and seeing a man standing behind a teenage boy bent forward at the waist, I tromped the brake and yelled, “What the hell are you doing?” The man in the back shouted, “He’s drunk and I’m trying to help. What’s it to you?” A couple of years ago in a park, a thirty-something adult was doing bike stunts on boulders and massive logs, building up a crowd of boys ages three through ten. My heart raced and all I could think was, “perp in the grooming phase.”
According to Alexandra Rogers, “Triggers are words (such as swearing or put-downs), symbols, situations, items, sounds, smells, objects, colors, calendar dates, seeing someone who resembles the abuser, or just about anything that the mind correlates to a negative past experience, and causes a reaction based on it.” 1 Someone’s stomach muscles may tighten, they might feel a sharp pain, or experience a flash of fear, hyper-vigilance, anger, distress, danger, helplessness, or shame.
Some individuals experience flashbacks which may last seconds or may involve extensive recall. They might feel nauseous, may gag, feel restricted, or have difficulty breathing. Rick Goodwin, MSW, executive director of Canada’s “1in6,” at the National Knowledge Centre on Male Sexual Trauma and Recovery, said, “The present moment can become confused with the past and one can feel out of control.” 2 He added that some survivors experience dizziness, muscle tension, a pounding heart, shaking, or an inability to concentrate.
Rogers believes that survivors must listen to their bodies and their responses to pinpoint triggers. As they are understood, new meaning can be assigned to them, a meaning of one’s own choosing. In this manner, what was once a trigger can lose its negative connotation and become neutral, freeing the survivor to maintain her footing in the present.
I had a friend who had been raped by her boss when she was a teen waitress in his restaurant. He initially came up behind her in the kitchen, her hands laden with full plates of food. He grabbed her waist and pressed his groin against her rear, his erect penis obvious. She needed the job and tried to avoid him, but one night they were alone at closing time; he overpowered her. She didn’t go to the hospital or the police. Years later, despite her husband’s kind treatment, she could never tolerate his hugging her from behind. She didn’t want to tell him about the rape, so she spoke to her minister about her problem. She was told to remind herself that she was safe in her own home, that her husband loved her, that the perpetrator was far away and of no further threat. Probably good advice at the time. That logical self-talk was the first step toward taking the power away from the trigger.
In some people, merely recognizing the link between the trigger and past experience will erase the trigger’s power. Rick Goodwin believes that if one can accept a memory as part of his or her life experience, it is less likely to bother them. He suggests that survivors write down what was happening when the memory appeared, the location, who was there, what one was feeling, thinking, smelling, hearing, seeing, and sensing. Asking questions of yourself might diminish the influence of the trigger.
How am I different now from the person who was abused/assaulted?
How old am I?
Where do I live/work?
What options do I have now that I didn’t have then?
Who can I ask for support and encouragement?
Where do I want to put my energy now?
When Bill Cosby’s conviction for aggravated indecent assault was overturned and he was released from prison in 2021, health writer Christina Vogt worried that many assault survivors would be triggered. “The fact that only a small minority of sexual assaults are reported and only twenty-five of every 1000 sex crimes result in the perpetrator’s incarceration are daunting odds, ones which give pause to victims trying to decide how to handle their assault.” 3 For decades assault victims have been blamed for bringing abuse on themselves, have been disbelieved, publicly shamed, and have infrequently received justice in US courts. Shauna Springer, Ph.D., a California-based trauma expert, concurred: “When a high-profile case such as Cosby’s is overturned, this brings survivors’ feelings of helplessness and hopelessness to the forefront and can re-trigger the trauma.” 4
Survivors can manage triggers in ways that fit their personalities and current circumstances. The following are suggestions of Vogt, Goodwin, and London’s Opening the Circle project. 5
Find a safe, quiet place where you can sit down; breathe slowly and deeply from the diaphragm. Count to five as you breathe out; this will help calm you.
Tell yourself that you’re having a flashback, that it’s a memory from the past and that you can take care of yourself in the present.
Ground yourself in the present: stamp your feet, feel your clothes next to your skin; notice the people around you and how your chair supports you, the furniture, colors, the landscape out your window; listen to the current sounds (washer, traffic, voices), or focus on a calming photograph.
Actively bring your awareness into the present by splashing water on your face, lighting a scented candle, wrapping yourself in a sweater or blanket, or holding your pet.
Indulge yourself with a pleasant activity: listen to music, do some gardening, take a walk or a soaking bath, do a puzzle or word find, have a soothing drink (not alcohol, which may numb emotional pain, but could make the situation worse or lead to dependence).
Engage in a repetitive activity like knitting, quilting, or cross stitch.
Allow yourself to cry; don’t stuff down your feelings.
Remember something that makes you laugh, a favorite poem, scripture verse, a prayer, or things for which you’re grateful.
Turn off the news and stay off social media until you’re feeling strong.
Practice mindfulness meditation, yoga, or do devotional reading.
Lean on your support team (call a friend, family member, or therapist to let them know you’re struggling).
If flashbacks persist and interrupt your life, be kind and patient with yourself rather than self-critical or thinking you should be stronger or further along in your recovery. Attend a support group meeting or schedule an appointment with a trauma-informed therapist.
I’m going to keep these coping options handy, even though I’m triggered infrequently. I’m hopeful that the retreat will sand the edges off my rage, free me of that leap to judgment, and decrease my terror of child sexual assault. May our honesty about assault and efforts to empower children rid the planet of the plague of sexual abuse.
1Rogers, Alexandra (1994). For Survival’s Sake Workbook. Cited in a havoca newsletter, 2021.
2Goodwin, Rick. (2004) Managing Flashbacks.
3Vogt, Christina (2021). Six Ways Sexual Assault Survivors Can Manage Trauma Triggers, Everyday Health.
4Springer, Shauna (2021). Interview with Insider.
5Opening the Circle (2013-2015), funded by the Department of Justice and hosted by the Sexual Assault Centre, London.
